Cheryl Burke, renowned for her role as a professional dancer on “Dancing With the Stars,” courageously shared a deeply personal and harrowing account of childhood sexual abuse on the “Old-ish” podcast. At the tender age of nine, Burke and her stepsister endured the unimaginable trauma of sexual molestation by their caretaker. The abuse came to light when a friend of Burke’s stepsister disclosed the horrifying secret to her mother, leading to the caretaker’s arrest and trial. Burke’s testimony played a crucial role in the legal proceedings, yet the experience left her grappling with self-doubt and a distorted sense of guilt. The insidious nature of abuse manifested in her questioning her own memories, even wondering if she was somehow fabricating the events. This self-gaslighting, instilled at such a young age, highlights the devastating psychological impact of sexual abuse on a child’s developing mind.
The trauma of testifying against her abuser was compounded by the isolating circumstances surrounding the court proceedings. Burke was forced to confront her abuser alone, without the support of her mother, a situation she described as “crazy.” This isolation likely exacerbated the feelings of vulnerability and fear she was already experiencing. The legal system, intended to protect victims, inadvertently contributed to Burke’s emotional turmoil. The experience left her feeling like the perpetrator, a profound distortion of reality that underscores the pervasive power dynamics at play in cases of child sexual abuse.
Adding to the injustice, the perpetrator, initially sentenced to life imprisonment, was eventually released from prison. This betrayal of justice undoubtedly compounded Burke’s trauma and reinforced the sense of powerlessness that often accompanies such experiences. The early release of her abuser likely left her feeling vulnerable and questioning the efficacy of the legal system in protecting victims. This sense of injustice can be particularly damaging for survivors, hindering their healing process and reinforcing feelings of anger and resentment.
Burke’s candid discussion delved into the long-lasting repercussions of the abuse, revealing that she has become a “professional disassociator” as a coping mechanism. This disassociation, a common response to trauma, allows individuals to psychologically detach from overwhelming emotions and memories. While it can offer temporary relief, it can also hinder the healing process by preventing individuals from fully processing their experiences. Burke acknowledged the ongoing nature of her healing journey, emphasizing that there’s no simple “fix” for trauma.
Despite the immense pain and ongoing challenges, Burke has dedicated herself to the arduous process of healing. She has undertaken extensive therapy and self-work to manage the anger and pain associated with her past. While emphasizing that she does not forgive her abuser for his actions, she has found a degree of peace by recognizing that he was “sick.” This distinction is crucial, as it allows Burke to acknowledge the perpetrator’s pathology without condoning or minimizing his actions. Her journey highlights the importance of seeking professional help and engaging in ongoing self-work to cope with the long-term effects of trauma.
Burke’s experience resonates with the broader societal context surrounding sexual abuse. She expressed concern about the increasing difficulty for victims to come forward and share their truth, citing the tendency for victims to be blamed or gaslighted. The prevalence of victim-blaming and the often-lengthy statute of limitations create significant barriers for survivors seeking justice and healing. Burke’s advocacy underscores the need for societal change, including greater support for survivors, education about the dynamics of abuse, and legal reforms that facilitate the prosecution of perpetrators. Her message is a powerful call for empathy, understanding, and a commitment to creating a safer world for all.
