Rachael Kirkconnell, recently separated from Bachelor Matt James, opened up about their tumultuous relationship and sudden split on the “Call Her Daddy” podcast. She described the breakup as a shock, occurring unexpectedly during a trip to Tokyo and publicly announced by James just hours later via a social media post while Kirkconnell was mid-flight, leaving her to process the news and the subsequent public reaction in isolation. The initial attraction between Kirkconnell and James during his season of “The Bachelor” was intense, but their relationship unfolded against the backdrop of controversy surrounding past photos of Kirkconnell at an Old South-themed party. While they initially navigated the public scrutiny and found happiness privately, the pressures of the situation ultimately led to their first breakup.
During their time apart, James became involved with another woman, an incident that deeply hurt Kirkconnell and eroded her trust in him. Despite this, they eventually reconciled, with James expressing remorse and a desire to commit to their relationship. However, the power dynamic established by the show, with James in the spotlight and Kirkconnell perceived as a contestant, continued to affect their dynamic. Kirkconnell admitted to feeling insecure and like a “groupie,” struggling to reconcile the public adoration of James with her own perceived negative image. This underlying insecurity contributed to arguments, with James criticizing her emotional reactions and Kirkconnell feeling unfairly judged.
While they never officially lived together, Kirkconnell revealed they spent significant time together, travelling and staying in hotels, even storing some of James’ belongings at her home. This quasi-cohabitation, while seemingly enjoyable at the time, now appears to Kirkconnell as a potential avoidance of commitment on James’ part. Despite these underlying tensions, they discussed marriage and even looked at rings, leading Kirkconnell to believe their relationship was progressing towards a serious commitment. This made the eventual breakup even more bewildering.
The final breakup occurred during a trip to Tokyo following a series of minor disagreements that escalated underlying tensions. Kirkconnell described an incident where she felt she had disappointed James with her restaurant choice, leading to an emotional reaction that he criticized. This sparked a larger argument about their compatibility, culminating in James expressing doubts about their future and his ability to see himself marrying her. He cited concerns about her emotional responses and their differing perspectives on accountability, issues that had been recurring themes in their relationship.
James’ public announcement of their split further compounded Kirkconnell’s pain. She found the timing and format of the announcement – a prayer-like message posted on social media while she was unreachable – disrespectful and inconsiderate. While James later apologized, acknowledging his mishandling of the situation, the damage was done. Kirkconnell, though forgiving, stated that she cannot reconcile with someone who treated her with such disregard, especially after four years together.
The aftermath of the breakup has left Kirkconnell processing a mix of emotions – sadness, empowerment, confusion, and anger. Despite the hurt and disappointment, she emphasized that she doesn’t want James to be vilified and believes he regrets his actions. Ultimately, Kirkconnell recognizes the need to prioritize her own well-being and move forward, accepting that reconciliation is unlikely and prioritizing self-respect over the desire to simply “pretend it never happened.”
